If Only

 by Bonney Jo Bott  02/13/2004

If only...
I returned to the image of my youth
It wouldn't hide the truth
You didn't want me then
Until it was too late.

Finding you...
Never left my mind.
A futile search through time
Twelve years later
Filled me with disappointment.

Hope continued...
Twenty-one years
and many more tears.
I wanted that date
Still believing it a possibility.


If only...
Your heart brought you to my door,
I wouldn't ask for more.
Professing love
Would be unneeded.

Open door...
Revealed my vision.
Your heart's decision
Rather than
What your eyes desired.

One night...
My heart soared.
My lover at my door,
Touching me gently
With genuine passion.


If only...
I had a chance
Sharing your possessive dance,
Knowing you
In every sense.

Desire revealed...
Spent time with you
My dreams came true,
Forever allowing
Your heart no protection.

A lover...
For one night.
My soul feels delight.
Special time for two,
In our intense embrace.


If only...
A quiver meant
Adoration sent,
My time exhausted
Exploring more than your charms.

I knew...
You were skilled.
I was beyond fulfilled.
Pure joy
Shared without consequences.

Happiness abounded...
Soon you saw
We were both in awe.
More than friends,
I was part of your existence.


If only...
Capturing your heart
Was a challenge-free start
We'd play like we're young.
My spirit finally satisfied.

Near future...
Exciting consent,
Amazing enlightenment,  
Returned feelings,
Companionship, and more.

What more...
A chance for that dance,
Your penetrating glance,
Together for an evening.
Exploring that date.


If only...
Your actions were real,
The ecstasy I'd feel
Rather than
The sting of unrequited love.

I seek...
The warmth of your embrace,
Lips kissed leaving a trace,
Your intention
To captivate me.

Imagine me...
You, my choice,
Returned love in your voice.
I'd fly high
Without wings.


If only...
You'd give me
One beat of your heart,
One second of your dreams...
One moment in my reality.