by Bonney Jo Bott   05/01/2006

A thousand deaths from loneliness, a million broken hearts,
Time and again I die then awake with hope when my day starts.

Tomorrows to come in question, when at dawn my eyes open wide,
I'll never know if forever, it's the last time.  Should I say or do more than sigh?

Surely I said I respect him and revealed how his smile warms my soul.
I know I've told him many times, more than he ever wanted to know.

Does he feel how his humor brightens my life, the sound of his voice, my private melody?
Strong arms would hug my broken heart if he could come to me.

Perhaps, "I love you," is missing from a last goodbye to my friend.
A moment, changed by him, he whispers, "Don't go.  Stay with me until the end."

I dream of moments together to escape my unhappy pain.
Remaining regrets and excuses replace memorable realities again.

Never give up, a message of  hope, for unfulfilled dreams and goals.
But what of the contradiction between my heart and desires of his soul?

The time has come, a chance to meet, not alone, but surrounded by others.
Or is it destiny that randomly allows my future changed by a lover?

When do I know that the last time, I made love was my last time?
Is it not until the day is my last that my desire fades with a chime?

Does my chance disappear to be alone with this special friend from my past?
Joy bursts forth! He extends his awaited invitation to me at last!

A sweet smile meant for me, lustful words he whispers to pleasure.
His embrace and a kiss, the taste of his lips, I treasure.

Controlled by two, my decision to go anywhere, with him anytime.
A walk on the beach, a ray of hope, perhaps?  Because we'll never know when it is our last time.